If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
