just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
