i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
