I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
try to milk me bitch
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