So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
