Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
