Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
