so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
