I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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