it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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