Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
