We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
