Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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