does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
