Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
