he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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