Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
