Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
