***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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