You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
