i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Even my vagina gasped.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
