my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
