I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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