I think I died a long time ago.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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