I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
When did angry sex become our thing?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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