We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
