I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
