I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
