we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
