you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
