then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
