I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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