She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
