YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
