Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
