Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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