where am i from again
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You had me at "let me see your balls"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
