I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
