What a fucking waste of an outfit
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
