i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
