I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
