you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
