Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
