I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
May the power of my ass compel you!!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
