Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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