she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
