her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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