Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
oh god the rape fog is back!
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
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