Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
