she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Can I color on your dick again?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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