I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
