Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
