So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My dick has a subreddit
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
