I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
