cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
